To every other emo people out there.
It just got me awake and thinking. It just tends to affect only me particularly. It just screws up everything that i do, making me nervous and wreckless, insecure and uptight. I realise that i suffer from something that i never dreamed i would. I will not mention it here, because close friends of mine or even people who think that they know me well enough will give me a wuthe-hell look that i can 100% guarantee. I didn't realise that it is getting so serious and out of hand. Could the happy things that i've been looking out for and caring for been overboard? Will i myself be the one that would be destroying my own fate when in actual fact i actually do care about it and would wish the best to happen in this life every other way i could? Why did this even happen? When did this start? How did it even start? Who are the ones that can really help me? I guess there's noone except for me, and perhaps God. True enough, it was through someone that made me occur about this, but definitely not you, yes you that is reading this now. Someone mentioned something, but it wasn't directed to me. Maybe it's Fate that made me even see it, that made me realise that i actually do have some problems and difficulty in the way i lead my life. Probably it's just that i'm giving myself problems, and not just normal problems, but excessive and unnecessary problems that would actually annoy and hurt people around me.
All these while, there could have been nothing to worry about, nothing to get uptight about, but a part of me just chooses to pinpoint to whatever size of the matter, wishing to correct it and make everything perfect, which is in fact impossible. Nothing is perfect in this world. If i were to ever try correcting mistakes or errors in my life, there would definitely be marks and scars later on. Those are evidences that would prove to me that i'm actually not a perfect person, and that is perfectly normal... at least to many. I don't wanna get bothered by anything anymore. I should just take things lightly and try to have faith in everything that i do, that others do. If something is impossible, then so be it. Why do i have to keep thinking about it and make my life so upset and imbalanced about it? I don't even wanna care about what i'm saying here anymore. It doesn't even matter to me now. Why even do i have to bother so much about things?
Was everything that happened since then my fault? No. There has been a fair share of apologies and turns when you make someone angry or upset. Why do you have to be the one that is being the extra mindful one here? I guess that after today, i shall try not to anymore. I just spoils everything that i do, everything and anything,
